


Make You My Forever

by Kabieee



Series: Sylvix Week 2020! [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Sex, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Non Azure Moon Ending, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Sex, Post Verdant Wind Route, Treating Wounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:14:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabieee/pseuds/Kabieee
Summary: Sylvix Week 2020 Day 4: Warmth“So goddamn stubborn.” The hand yanked away from his cloak, making Felix shudder slightly. The tone of Sylvain’s voice—was it finally time? Was he going to yell? Was he finally going to tell Felix off for being so terrible the last few years? “You’re not leaving. I won’t let you.”“Won’t let me?” Felix turned around and glared at his friend, his face dark. The Margrave’s silhouette against the light of the fire behind him made him more dominating and taller in the grand foyer of his manor. “Who do you think you are? You’re not my keeper. I don’t owe you anything. I’m not staying here tonight.”“Felix, you will die out there. I’m not losing you because you’re too damn stubborn. No job is worth it. Your life is not worth it.”“You can’t make me stay.”
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Sylvix Week 2020! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933429
Comments: 6
Kudos: 133
Collections: Sylvix Week 2020 Fic Collection





	Make You My Forever

**Author's Note:**

> ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ See I can write angst! (but not without a happy ending tbh)
> 
> Please enjoy this hurt/comfort fic that possessed me like a demon. There was gonna be more angst in there but I spared myself the agony of writing it!
> 
> @_felain made a beautiful piece to accompany this fic ;___; ily so much lin!! working with you was amazing ;O;

Felix hissed as a healing salve was pressed into his ribcage. Sylvain gave him a pointed look, easing his hand and fingertips slightly as he rubbed it into the wound. In those pools of honey he had for eyes, though, was a softness that betrayed the way his lips pursed and his eyebrow raised on his face. Felix had seen it more times than he could count, had the expression memorized and the feeling it gave him locked in his mind for the rest of his life. It was a look that told him Sylvain loved him, that Sylvain would continue dressing and treating his wounds forever, no matter how many times he left.

It made Felix overly anxious to get out of Gautier estate, back into the freedom that was his life as a mercenary for hire. Just being here with Sylvain again was making his skin crawl, the burning feeling in his stomach of wanting to finally stay for good making him feel as though he were losing his mind. The intimacy of his lifelong friend treating his wounds by the fireplace in the foyer of his manor, the same comfortable, overstuffed furniture like heaven beneath his tired and weary body. The way Sylvain sat so close to him, purposefully so their bodies would touch as he delicately treated Felix’s latest injury.

Sylvain capped the bottle of salve and began carefully wrapping the bandage around Felix’s stomach. He was quiet, pretending to be angry at Felix for being so reckless. Maybe he was though, finally actually angry at him after so many years of Felix leaving, getting hurt, and then crawling back whenever he needed a meal or someone to tend to a wound. Felix wanted to think he’d feel better if Sylvain was actually angry with him, wanted the other to lash out and yell for the terrible way Felix treated him after the war. It might make an ounce of the sensation he was currently feeling inside him worth it. To have the man that cared so much about him get so vocal about his frustrations with Felix and curse him for his flippant behavior.

But Sylvain would never do that. Felix knew this as the bandage went over a particularly sensitive spot and he groaned in pain again. Instead of frowning or looking at him disapprovingly, Sylvain immediately stopped and looked at Felix with worry, his bottom lip quivering slightly at the idea of hurting him in any way. His hands froze delicately, lightly touching Felix’s skin where he wasn’t injured.

“Just finish it already,” Felix grumbled quietly, hastily changing the direction of his gaze so he wasn’t looking at the other’s face. He snuck a peek at him once he resumed, waiting for a look of hurt or anger he knew wouldn’t appear on Sylvain’s face. Sylvain had already softened his expression, happily and quietly tending to Felix.

“You’re going to stay tonight, right?” Sylvain asked him quietly, fastening the bandage with a piece of tape and gently moving his shirt back down. “I had your room made up. Fire’s all lit. It’s nice and warm up there…” his voice dripped with honey, a coy smile eking its way onto his face. Felix huffed and shot away his eyes once more.

“No, I don’t think so. I need to be in old capital territory by tomorrow morning. There’s a job there handling thieves trying to steal from the palace.”

Felix stood up, feeling Sylvain’s hand come to his cloak. He could feel Sylvain trembling, his breath audibly hitching in his throat. “Felix—”

“Sylvain, I must—”

“Please, Felix, just stay the night. Please. It’s in the negatives out there. We’re supposed to get another fourteen inches of snow tonight. Felix, please,  _ please  _ stay here.”

Felix shook his head. “I’ve stayed out in far worse conditions, Sylvain. A bit of snow won’t hurt me.”

“So goddamn stubborn.” The hand yanked away from his cloak, making Felix shudder slightly. The tone of Sylvain’s voice—was it finally time? Was he going to yell? Was he finally going to tell Felix off for being so terrible the last few years? “You’re not leaving. I won’t let you.”

“Won’t let me?” Felix turned around and glared at his friend, his face dark. The Margrave’s silhouette against the light of the fire behind him made him more dominating and taller in the grand foyer of his manor. “Who do you think you are? You’re not my keeper. I don’t owe you anything. I’m not staying here tonight.”

“Felix, you will  _ die  _ out there. I’m not losing you because you’re too damn stubborn. No job is worth it. Your  _ life  _ is not worth it.”

“You can’t make me stay.”

Sylvain grunted and took three quick steps to close the gap between himself and Felix. He’d grabbed Felix’s wrist roughly without realizing it, strained expression and tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. Felix felt his heart beating quickly in his chest, a rolling wave of emotion washing over him as Sylvain looked at him. He looked older all of a sudden, his handsome features heavily strained as he fought back tears and harsh words. Felix knew how desperately Sylvain wanted him to stay. It wasn’t just the blizzard outside, nor was it the danger of travelling to the old capital in the middle of the night.

The Margrave had loved Felix since the war. They had both known before he’d confessed, both knew how strongly Sylvain’s heart beat for Felix Hugo Fraldarius. It was in everything he did, from the way he followed him into the Golden Deer house when Felix transferred. How he trained into the early hours of the morning with Felix in the monastery both before and during the war. How he kept his battalion near Felix’s on the battlefield despite Felix’s near constant orders to cease.

This love had spread once their lives gained a new normal once the Kingdom and Empire had been vanquished. Felix had quickly given up his claim to govern his family’s territory, allowing one of the Leicester noblemen to take over and change the name entirely. He had been all too eager to abandon any tie he had to the past. Felix was free to use his sword in the aftermath of the war, making a living with his own merits. Sylvain offered him his estate if he ever needed a place to stay, and Felix would take him up on this offer whenever he passed through Gautier.

One night, however, on a night much like tonight a year into their new lives under King Claude von Riegan’s leadership, Felix had stumbled into Sylvain’s manor bloodied and well past the point of exhaustion. A rough fight between looters in old Fraldarius territory had been won by the skin of Felix’s teeth, a six inch gaping wound on his leg that he’d barely managed to fix with basic magic and bandages. Felix remembered little from that night, only fuzzy memories of Sylvain personally tending to his injuries, not leaving his bedside for at least three days while he recovered.

Upon waking on the fourth day, Sylvain had broken down when Felix said he was leaving.

_ “Felix—I don’t think I can see you like this again.” _

_ “What do you mean?” _ Felix had set down his goblet of water and shifted uncomfortably in bed to look at Sylvain.

_ “Like… this,” _ Sylvain had choked, motioning to Felix’s heavily bruised body and his slowly healing leg. Sylvain’s hand had fretfully grabbed Felix’s, trembling with the rest of him.  _ “You’re going to die if you keep this up, Fe. What if you get hurt and you’re too far away for me to help you? What if I can’t get to you in time?” _

_ “Then I’d be dead. There’s nothing you could do about it, why would you worry so much? If I die, then I die.” _ Felix’s words had been ice in Sylvain’s heart, and his facial expression had instantly shown it.

It was the first time Felix had seen Sylvain truly cry since their childhood. His broad shoulders shook with sobs, his hands fretfully holding on to Felix. A dark shadow seemed to have crossed over his entire being, his breaths hollow and deep from how hard the emotion had hit him. Felix had tensed up and initially tried to move his hand, but Sylvain’s weeping sliced through him hotter than any blade or lance ever had. He wanted to run from it, wanted to die seeing Sylvain so upset.

The fact that his anguish and misery was caused by Felix himself ashamed him. This is what he fought to destroy in the war against their homeland. Severing old ties and duties was the main goal of going against Faerghus in the first place. But knowing Sylvain still cared about him in such a way, Felix’s newfound path bringing the other agony, was the last thing he’d wanted. Truthfully, each time he returned to Gautier, he figured he’d finally see a woman on Sylvain’s arm and wedding bands on their fingers.

But each trip back to his home, Felix found Sylvain alone. Alone in his big estate, living with the aid of only a few house staff. He conducted his duties and business in the same old chamber his father had. Nights were spent in town in a tavern, drinking himself into a stupor before heading home to a silent house. His bedroom was the only other space he truly inhabited. A space where, Felix would come to learn, was where he lay awake for hours at a time, imagining better times if Felix agreed to stay.

Despite knowing how his frequent comings and goings affected his lifelong friend, knowing that his one desire in this life was for Felix to be his, or at the very least stay nearby… Felix could still not bring himself to do it. Staying in this place felt like abandoning his title was meaningless. What would the people of old Fraldarius think if they learned their rightful Lord had run away only to end up in Gautier? He truthfully didn’t care, but he’d be damned if gossip swirled and his name was run through the dirt.

And after what Sylvain had gone through with his father, staying with him only felt like Felix was forgetting what the man had done to him.

_ “Felix—” _ Sylvain had stopped short before continuing, blinking his eyes furiously to dispel the tears without letting go of Felix. He had stood to his feet quickly, mouth quivering as his body soon pressed onto Felix’s in the bed. Felix’s hands were gripped softly as Sylvain’s lips pressed against the other man, soft and sweet in a desperate act he’d initiated without thinking. He kissed him softly at first, jittery with happiness when Felix didn’t pull away or ask him to stop.

_ “Fe—Felix, baby, I love you. I want—a-and need you here with me. I’d even be okay if you didn’t want to live here; you could live outside the estate—wherever you want. But not knowing where you are, if you’re o-okay—I can’t d-do it. You were so near for so long, living apart from you is agony. I can’t stand the thought of you leaving and not coming back. We made a promise to stay together until we die. But I don’t want to let you g-go before me. Please don’t make me do that, Felix. I can’t.” _

Sylvain was hardly comprehensible, each word making the cold intensify in Felix’s stomach. But the mercenary only listened to him weep, body numb from the kiss and Sylvain’s confession. Felix didn’t want to react in such a way that would fuel Sylvain’s flames, already hating himself for the feelings his friend had developed for him, the feelings that had grown so strongly despite the past.

It wasn’t as though Felix felt differently. There was a lifetime of love for Sylvain deep down in his body, in the very core of who he was as a person. But allowing himself that vulnerability, allowing someone in so close to his heart was nearly inconceivable. Felix couldn’t allow Sylvain into his heart that way, no matter how much it clearly hurt him. Sparse, rare visits like these were already difficult, leaving him behind in his large, empty home harder each time he did it. But Felix would continue this path, making his visits even more infrequent after Sylvain’s confession.

If he could make Sylvain Jose Gautier forget he ever loved him, Felix was determined his life would know true happiness. Not loving Felix was the best way forward.

“No, I can’t make you stay,” Sylvain admitted in defeat, not letting go of Felix’s wrist. His grip softened and his shoulders dropped, softly holding his friend’s hand in the quiet of the foyer. “But… will you? For me?”

Felix held his breath in, resisting the urge to squeeze Sylvain’s hand. The pain and sorrow in his voice was palpable. He could feel just how desperately Sylvain was praying for Felix to agree. He slowly turned around and looked at the other, a devastating mistake in his resolve to leave.

Sylvain stood before him, all but begging Felix on his knees. His height and dominating air had been broken in an instant. Felix could have sworn he saw ten-year-old Sylvain standing in front of him, lip bloody and eyes filled with tears after Miklan had beaten him up. Once again coming to Felix for comfort, knowing his mother and father wouldn’t do anything about his brother’s behavior. It was desperate, it was a complete shift in power in the situation as Sylvain stood there quietly weeping.

Felix was dealt the final blow when Sylvain dropped to his knees. The Margrave held onto Felix’s hand, squeezing him for affirmation in a silent plea. He choked out an attempt to speak before Felix utterly crumbled and gave in, following Sylvain’s suit and crouching down upon the floor with him. Felix silently nodded as Sylvain wept into his shoulder, wrapping the older man up in an embrace. He smoothed his scarred hands over Sylvain’s broad back, mind going numb with a previously unknown feeling as he held Sylvain. Was it love? Was it insanity? Felix figured it to be both. As long as he didn’t have to see Sylvain so upset, he would do just about anything.

**

Felix combed his hair in front of the dressing table mirror in his guest room. The very same room he’d always stayed in as a child. Well, was designated to sleep in. Back then, it was rare for Felix to stay in his own room during his family’s visits. Sylvain would usually come knocking on his door whenever he had a nightmare, or whenever he was trying to hide from Miklan. He and Sylvain had spent hours in this room coloring, reading, and even practicing with their toy weapons when their parents allowed them to start training. Felix had cut his lip open on the corner of the bed when he was ten after Glenn had accidentally pushed Sylvain into him. Sylvain had cried to him underneath that same bed while they hid from Miklan when Sylvain was seven. 

It was on that bed, when Felix was seventeen and Sylvain was nineteen, that Felix had kissed his best friend the day before they went to the officer’s academy.

Felix remembered this as he sat his brush down on the table before him, crimson flushing over his cheeks alongside his embarrassment. He had stupidly done it to shut Sylvain up about a girl he was babbling on about, irritated from the get go about their recent escapade behind the stables of the Gautier estate. She had been a nobleman’s daughter, if Felix remembered correctly. What he remembered with pristine clarity was the way she sucked up to Sylvain, only able to talk about his Crest the moment she stepped through their doors. It had irritated Felix to no end, and his friend continuing to talk about her made him lose his cool. He’d thrown an unfolded shirt down into his trunk, crawled on his knees across the mattress to where Sylvain sat with his back against the headboard. A palm had been slapped onto Sylvain’s sternum before Felix quickly, anxiously leaned in and kissed him. 

It had been all teeth. Felix had never once even  _ considered _ kissing someone before that. Months and months of denying how his body and brain felt whenever he watched Sylvain training, excusing himself to douse himself in cold water whenever he worked up a sweat around the other abandoned his shirt. 

The kiss, he swore to Sylvain, was merely to shut him up.

And they didn’t speak of it again until the war began. 

Felix brought his knees up to his chest on the chair he sat upon, breathing deeply to rid himself of the anxiety coursing through his body. He knew on the surface that Sylvain had known about his true feelings the moment he lied to him about his motives for the kiss. But whenever he tried to bring it up, hint at it, or recall it at all, Felix would drop the conversation and pointedly change the subject. Sylvain stopped trying to talk to him about it the day he saw Felix making out with a guy from the Golden Deer house a week after Felix transferred in.

Felix thought that would be the end of all of it. His unstoppable, absolute love and attraction for Sylvain, something he knew would never be possible with their titles and responsibilities (long before he knew he’d be giving up his altogether). No more fantasizing about his best friend, no more painful moments of him flirting with every woman that moved. 

Then Sylvain asked the Professor if he could join his class. The Professor had been delighted, hopeful to aid Sylvain in refining his reason prowess so he could train to become a dark knight. 

Felix grunted when he remembered the weeks after Sylvain joined the Golden Deer, standing up and throwing himself down onto the bed in his guest room. Sylvain had surprised him in the training ground the day it happened, a smirk on his face and a bouquet of yellow flowers in his hand. A bottle of champagne and two glasses were passed to Felix before he could even get a word out. He’d incredulously looked at his friend as he offered him the flowers. 

_ “What are these for?” _ Felix had asked in annoyance, having to prop his sword up on the training dummy to hold Sylvain’s things. 

_ “They’re an apology. I… wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” _

_ “For what?” _ Felix had forced his first kiss out of his mind as much as possible when they’d made it to the officer’s academy, seeing Sylvain fool around as though his life depended on it. 

_ “For that time during the Lone Moon… you know? When you kissed me?”  _

Felix almost threw the glasses and bottle down onto the training ground floor. He glared at Sylvain and whipped his head around to make sure nobody had heard. But it was late at night, Felix not realizing he was the last one there, as always. 

_ “I should have… told you then how I felt. How I wanted to do that for a long time.”  _

Felix’s entire body stiffened, his shoulders tensing up under the gaze of the other.

_ “Don’t say something so foolish. Do you even hear yourself--” _

Sylvain had shut him up on the spot with yet another kiss, raising his free hand up to Felix’s shoulder. He touched it gently, silently encouraging him to relax. He hadn’t fought the redhead at first, undeniably enjoying this, but quickly losing the battle against anxiety from it being in public. Felix attempted to pull away, but Sylvain only wrapped his arms around the younger man’s back, softening his lips against him and sighing into their closeness. 

Felix blinked his eyes, realizing tears had formed in the corners of his eyes and bringing himself out of the memory. He swatted them away hastily, going to roll over onto his back. With a heavy sigh he realized the memory had caused an uncomfortable erection, the last thing on his mind in the midst of unpleasant memories. 

_ “Do you feel comfortable doing this, Fe? You don’t have to if you don’t want to--” _

_ “I’m sure. Please. I want you, Sylvain. So long as I’m the only one from now on--” _

Once again quieted by a smile and a kiss from Sylvain, the redhead had nodded with the happiest smile on his face Felix had ever seen.

Sylvain had made love to him the first time that night. The kissing in the training ground had continued in Sylvain’s dormitory, where soft, hungry hands had roamed over each other’s bodies. Quiet moans of pleasure from Sylvain had filled Felix’s ears, direct signals to his brain that were screaming at him to take the plunge and do what he had been wanting for so long. He’d had to place Sylain’s hands on his body, the other almost fearful to touch him. He’d explained he didn’t want to pressure him, to which Felix had rolled his eyes and shakily shoved his hand down the front of Sylvain’s pants. 

Felix threw his arm over his eyes. He had managed to not think about this for  _ years _ …

He stood up and paced around his room, running his fingers through his hair. Sylvain was just down the hall, finally composed enough to take Felix to his old guest room and bid him goodnight. He had hugged Felix tightly before parting from him, a heavy sigh of happiness and relief that his friend agreed to stay the night. Felix had heard him linger outside the door once Sylvain had closed it, unbreathing as he waited for Sylvain to join him. When he hadn’t, Felix had trembled with the odd sensation of rejection. 

Felix looked to the right, the direction of Sylvain’s room down the hall. His entire body felt warm with desire for the other, memories and nostalgia quickly unraveling his tightly-wound resolve in distancing himself from the man he still loved. He blinked his eyes quickly, fighting more emotion welling up in them, as he reached down into his shirt and pulled out the locket around his neck. It was a simple silver chain with an oval shaped adornment, but the inside housed the most precious and simultaneously damned thing Felix had ever received from Sylvain. 

The ring tumbled out onto his careful hand from the locket, the center ruby shining brightly in the light coming from the fireplace. Felix’s hands shook as he slipped it on his finger, breath hitching in his throat at the sight of it. It had been Sylvain’s mother’s, the once piece of jewelry she owned that hadn’t been a gift from her husband. Sylvain had told Felix he’d never give him any of that; the less reminders they had of the old Margrave around, the better. 

Felix’s feet carried him out of his guest room as though they had a mind of their own, the door opening quietly into the empty hall that separated him from Sylvain. As he padded along the soft carpet, his heart raced in his chest in anticipation. It suddenly struck him that Sylvain had left him because he did not want to spend the night in Felix’s room like on other visits. Perhaps the anger and frustration Felix felt he deserved from Sylvain made the Margrave unwilling to behave as they did before: Felix breaking every rule he set for himself every time he walked back onto the Gautier estate. 

Every time he came back, it was the same. His old love and flames would be rekindled for Sylvain. Seeing him so alone, in such lonely agony made Felix open his arms to him, to bring him in just close and long enough to allow the other to slip into his room to let out some of his pent up feelings with his body. 

_ There’s a reason Sylvain left. How can you blame him with how you’ve treated him? You don’t deserve that closeness, you don’t deserve that vulnerability. Leave him be and leave here now. You can slip away without him knowing… _

Felix was at Sylvain’s door. His hand sat on the handle that would open it, trembling in the quiet of the hallway. This had been a foolish act; Felix should never have left his room. He huffed and went to hurry back to his own quarters when he heard a soft noise coming from inside the other’s bedroom. 

“Haah--Felix…”

Felix stopped, feeling as though he’d been sliced through by a sword ablaze. His heart jumped up into his throat, his stomach turned in agony as his groin tingled with desire. He could hear Sylvain’s soft moans of pleasure, Felix’s name on his lips like a prayer. Felix held his arms tightly around himself as he listened to the other, brain fuzzy and frozen with inaction as he desperately decided what to do.

“Felix, Felix, Felix--” 

Felix trembled and faced the door, aware of the irony that Sylvain was literally calling out for him. He damned himself, damned Sylvain, damned his wretched heart for torturing the Margrave for so many years with his unwillingness to let go of what had happened in the past. Felix knew it was impossible, but if Sylvain’s voice had been less desperate, less longing, perhaps he could have listened to the stubborn part of his brain telling him to leave. But his foolish heart made him push against the heavy door, to cross over the threshold into Sylvain’s room without a word.

“F-Felix… What are you--”

Felix’s heart yanked up into his throat at the sight of the other. His teal cloak from the war was around his shaking shoulders, the only thing on his body. Sylvain’s cock stood fully on his groin; his large hand wrapped around it mid-pump. Tears rolled down his cheeks from bloodshot eyes, eyes that were now wide with surprise at Felix’s surprise entry.

Felix softly crossed the room and climbed up onto Sylvain’s bed, blinking back tears of his own as he crawled in between Sylvain’s legs. He pulled the older man up and sat on his lap, scarred hands going up into his red locks as Felix latched himself onto Sylvain’s lips. He tasted the same after all these years, the same, familiar scent that Felix often drove himself mad thinking about while on the road. It filled him up down to his feet, as though Sylvain’s smell alone could thaw out the frozen foundation that had built up inside Felix since the war ended. 

“Sylvain, I’m--I’m sorry. I’m sorry for always leaving. My wretched heart has loved you for so long. But after what happened with your father, I--”

Sylvain’s tears silently increased, his fingers clutching to Felix as though his life depended on it. He pitifully buried his face into Felix’s chest, hanging on to every word out of his mouth with soft nods. Felix slowly trailed his fingers down his neck to his chest, breath hitching when he came to the scar that ripped through the redhead’s collarbone down past his pectoral.

It was the scar he’d received from the old Margrave after they’d returned from Fhirdiad once peace treaties ending the war had been signed. The one Sylvain’s father had given him with his lance when Sylvain announced his engagement to Felix in the grand hall of Gautier estate, an attack that had nearly taken Sylvain’s life.

_ “First, my Crestless firstborn gives our family more trouble than he was worth. Now you’re damning our entire lineage by telling me you’re marrying a man. How will our family name and Crest live on without an heir? How dare you do this to our family, our people? How dare you end the bloodline I have worked so hard to maintain?” _

Sylvain put his hand over Felix’s, his gaze softly going up Felix’s chest to look into his copper eyes. He smiled weakly and kissed his lips, cupping the back of his head lovingly as their lips danced across each other.

“I would go through that again for the rest of my life if it meant you’d finally stay. No matter what my old man did to me, it was never enough for me to stop loving you, Felix.”

Felix shuddered, shaking his head defiantly in Sylvain’s grasp. He grabbed onto his old cloak around Sylvain’s shoulders, betraying his denial by nuzzling into the redhead’s neck and kissing him with quivering lips.

“You don’t deserve someone like me. I have caused you nothing b-but trouble. Why would you torture yourself by hanging on to me, Sylvain? Why can’t you move on and actually be happy?”

Sylvain brought Felix’s left hand up to his lips, kissing his mother’s ring that sat on his fourth finger.

“I told you once and I’ll tell you again, and again, and again. Loving you is the only happiness I’ll ever know.”

Felix began to nod slowly, blinking his eyes rapidly to dispel the tears forming there. He pulled away only to begin pulling off his sleep clothes from his body. Sylvain assisted, pressing warm, hungry kisses both over the fabric and directly onto his skin once it was exposed. Felix let the feeling of vulnerability dig deep down into him and attach itself to the core of his being, each touch from Sylvain pulling him further down the path of no return. His body was screaming at him to give up and let go of any plan to leave this place ever again, any trace of willingness to get back on the road. To be anywhere but right here in Sylvain’s arms was a bastardized thought in his mind.

Sylvain’s honey eyes closed in blissful happiness when Felix’s hands came down around his erection, his still-clothed legs squeezing around his thighs on his lap. He fell back on the lush wall of pillows on the headboard, opening them again to get a better look at the love of his life. Felix pumped him achingly slow and leaned down to kiss his lips.

“Are you sure? Are you sure you want someone as awful as me?” Felix’s voice was calmly desperate, years of nightmares of Sylvain’s father attacking him having warped the way he processed anything from the other.

“Forever. You are the only forever I’ve ever wanted, Felix. No matter what, I will love you and want you until the day I die.”

Felix let out a small sob, nodding through his tears. He moved his hands from Sylvain’s erection to his cheeks, holding him achingly and kissing him.

“Would you marry me, Sylvain?” Felix whispered against his lips, rubbing the band of the ring cheekily against Sylvain’s face.

“Only if you stay with me for good,” Sylvain winked softly, his arms excitedly squeezing around Felix’s waist.

Felix let out a sigh of relief, one hand going back to Sylvain’s erection and pumping.

“Marry me in the morning, then. I want to make you my forever as soon as I can.”

“Anything you want, my love,” Sylvain replied with a smile, hips jutting up into Felix’s hand with a small hitch in his throat. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Bring me back,” Felix whispered into his ear, grinding his hips down against Sylvain’s groin. His skin was ablaze with desire, the warmth of the other’s love quickly dispelling the five-year-long cold around his heart. “Make me yours before I marry you.”

Sylvain’s chest rose and fell with desire and emotion, his head nodding as he enjoyed Felix on his lap, more importantly his presence in the vast quiet and loneliness of his estate. He reached down past the waistband of his pants and grazed his hand over his groin, gazing up lovingly into his copper eyes as he took his erection in his hands.

“Nothing could ever stop me from loving you, Fe. You… you have n-no idea how happy I am right now,” he breathed out, closing his eyes and nuzzling into Felix’s collarbone. The symphony of his quiet moans from his touch filled Sylvain’s ears, touching the man on top of him delicately but with purpose. He pressed long, loving kisses against him, realizing his entire body shook from happiness.

Sylvain lowered Felix down onto his back, slipping his pants off his hips and tossing them off the side of the bed. His eyes nearly glazed over as he took in Felix’s scarred body, sadness yet unconditional love in them when he regarded his scars and bruises up and down his lithe yet muscular body.

“Do they hurt?” he whispered, holding onto Felix’s hips as he pressed a kiss to his sternum.

“Not when I’m with you,” Felix replied quietly, a smile breaking out on his lips when he saw Sylvain looking at him so.

Sylvain reached into his nightstand for oil before he dropped down between Felix’s thighs and hovered over his erection, everything but love and devotion for the other gone from his being with Felix before him. He placed his hands around his waist and smoothed his thumbs over his hip bones as he licked his lips, running them and his nose over the soft skin of Felix’s thighs and groin.

“They make you so beautiful, Felix. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Before Felix could reply, Sylvain’s mouth dropped over his cock, his tongue running down the underside of the shaft all the way until his lips softly squeezed around the base. Felix moaned out softly and felt his hands bury into Sylvain’s soft red hair, his toes already curling under at his sides and digging into his skin. It had been at least six Moons since their last night spent together, each day since a horrible affair of missing this closeness and intimacy for both men. Felix could feel just how desperately Sylvain wanted to make love to him, each lick and suck from his mouth accompanied by happy moans against his tender flesh.

“Mmm, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you, Fe. My Felix…  _ my _ Felix.” Sylvain spoke with his warm, tender mouth still hovering over Felix’s cock, sending shockwaves of pleasure down upon the man below him with every word. Felix mewled and spread his thumbs over Sylvain’s cheeks, nodding quietly in agreement when words failed him. He still felt as though he didn’t deserve this love, this special time with someone as important to him as Sylvain. But he knew the older man wouldn’t let him go no matter what Felix did, and for the first time in his life he didn’t want to put any distance between them.

Sylvain reached for the oil and poured it onto his pointer and index fingers, resuming the soft movements of his lips over Felix’s erection as he teased at his entrance. Even with the scars, even with his extremely muscular legs, he was still so soft. Sylvain felt as though he could spend all night simply touching him, wanting to memorize every new curve and perfect imperfection on his skin after so much time apart. They had all the time in the world to do that, he knew, but there was a numb happiness present even now in his brain that this was all  _ his _ . After loving Felix for so long, after fighting for him to stay for the last five years, his heart would finally know the only peace he needed to go on.

“Sylvain, p-please,” Felix begged quietly, his legs spreading and hooking at his ankles on Sylvain’s back.

The redhead smiled over his cock and gently eased in his middle finger, trembling at the tightness and warmth of Felix around him. He began working him as he maintained a slow, delicate pace on his erection, lapping around every inch of soft skin. When he got down to the base, his nose buried in the patch of navy-blue hair atop his groin, a sensation that filled Sylvain with love and urgency that shot down to his toes and right back to his heart each time.

Felix shook with happy anxiety at the intimacy of their lovemaking, knowing that from this night forward this would be  _ their _ chamber. No longer would he distance himself from the man he loved down the hall, wouldn’t leave this place with the intention of only coming back if he were desperate. These walls, while filled with burdened memories of dark pasts, had also housed such love and joy in his life that he’d fought for so long. Receiving such attention from Sylvain in this chamber, a chamber where they’d comforted each other as children, hidden there in each other’s company from the things that had nearly destroyed them… All for it to become a place of tender refuge where they would swear their love for one another for the rest of their lives. Each expression of love and desire from Sylvain in this bed only banished the thought of leaving again from Felix’s soul.

“M-more,” Felix begged achingly, his hips rocking down against Sylvain. “Syl, please.”

Sylvain’s eyes looked up at him with such love as he nodded, his second finger sliding in carefully against the other. He reassuringly reached up to Felix’s hands and held them as he began stretching him open, moving his mouth from his cock to his groin and legs to kiss them softly when Felix hissed quietly in pain.

“So good for me, baby. You’re always so perfect. I haven’t been able to love you in so long, but you’re still s-so good for me,” he whispered encouragingly, crawling up onto his knees. He leaned down and pressed a long, loving kiss to Felix’s cheek just next to his lips, breathing deeply against his skin. There was magic in the way Felix existed below him, his thick walls slowly crumbling away as their encounter progressed. His free hand rubbed soothingly over Felix’s scarred chest, nuzzles of his nose and kisses on the deeper ones. “Breathtaking.”

“I don’t—I d-don’t deserve this,” Felix whispered, his eyes heavy with tears threatening to fall at Sylvain’s words. He forced his hips and entrance to relax, but his heart sped up in his chest anxiously as he looked up at the other loving him so.

“Yes, you do, Felix. You’ve  _ always _ deserved this.”

“N-not with how I’ve treated you—”

“Shh, baby,” Sylvain encouraged him, pressing his palm against his stomach and spreading his fingers inside him. “You deserve nothing less than all the love I have to offer.”

Tears finally fell down Felix’s cheeks, his mouth agape in the powerful, abject devotion for Sylvain. He breathed through his nose to keep himself from sobbing out, lacing his fingers with the other’s on his abdomen and gazing down his torso into his eyes.

“Beautiful, Fe.” Sylvain slid back down and alternated between sucking red love bites into Felix’s thighs and lapping at his erection. He silently delighted in the desperate moans and utterances of his name that fell from the younger man’s lips. Feeling Felix’s legs shaking in anticipation around his neck made Sylvain’s entire body flush crimson in desire and anticipation. His lips squeezed around the base of his cock and a long, drawn out moan ripped from Felix’s chest, his hips jerking up in want into the redhead’s mouth.

“I’m r-ready for you. Syl, make love to me,” Felix achingly propped himself up on his elbows, leaning forward to hungrily shove his tongue in Sylvain’s mouth. He trembled when he tasted himself alongside Sylvain’s taste, the fire melting the cold inside of him only heating up at the exchange. “Please… please bring me home.”

“I’ve waited so long for you to say that,” Sylvain murmured sheepishly, continuing to stretch Felix as he shakingly reached for the oil. Felix got to it first and pumped Sylvain’s cock as he uncapped it, pressing his tongue inside the redhead’s mouth with a desperate moan. He drizzled the oil over him and smiled into the kiss when Sylvain swore quietly against his lips, his tears landing on Sylvain’s grinning cheeks.

Sylvain took a deep breath and a long, intense look down at Felix, blinking in incredulity at his luck. Felix was here with him, agreeing to stay and be his forever. It all felt like a dream, a horrible thing if none of it were real. But he felt Felix’s warmth emanating from his heart, in the very way his hands pumped him and his copper eyes bore up into his own. This chamber had only brightened and felt more comfortable the moment Felix stepped through the door, as though he were an integral part of calling this large, lonely manor ‘home’.

And he was. Of course he was.

Sylvain patted the pillows behind him numbly for Felix to lie down there, unbreathing as he watched Felix move. It was his rightful place, in the center of this important bed in the history of their lives together. Perfectly in the center for Sylvain to love him as he so desperately wished, akin to Felix being the true center of his universe. He finally let out a shaky breath when Felix settled down onto the pillows and gazed lovingly up at him.

“T-thank you, Sylvain,” Felix whispered, pulling him down for a soft yet desperate kiss. “For your love, for n-never giving up on me. I love you.”

“I love you too, Felix,” Sylvain replied with a smile, tucking Felix’s hair behind his ear and nuzzling his face against the other. He moved his hands softly down his body and took Felix’s hips into his hands, taking another meaningful breath before looking at his lover for confirmation.

“Yes. Yes, please, Syl,” Felix quietly begged, falling back onto the bed. He watched, awestruck and emotional as Sylvain guided his cock to his entrance, quick breaths out of his agape mouth in desperation. His hands held on to Sylvain’s on his hips, fingers writing with anticipation. Each movement of Sylvain’s free hand over his stomach and thighs, the gentle hesitation both making his heart flutter and his hands grip anxiously on the redhead’s hips.

“Fe… do you promise? Promise you’re staying for good?”

Sylvain’s voice was fearful, his shoulders visibly trembling in the uncertainty. Felix could not blame him for a second, and the other’s words pierced him through and through. Felix knew he needed this, knew Sylvain truly needed his unabashed confirmation that he was done torturing them both with his stubbornness.

“I promise,” Felix replied, touching the ring on his left hand before running it down Sylvain’s abdomen. “No more running. No more leaving. I’m yours.”

Sylvain’s torso jumped in his quiet sob, head nodding slowly as he guided his erection into Felix. He fell down over the younger man’s body and wrapped him up in his arms as he eased in, whining pitifully against the shell of Felix’s ear. It felt so different, felt infinitely better than any other hookup they’d shared after the war. Felix’s body was not stiff under him, pliant and relaxed as though they’d melt together in the heat and closeness of the embrace. The raven-haired man’s hands joined around the back of his neck, his nose nuzzled against Sylvain’s collarbone as he too blinked tears out of his eyes.

Sylvain moved slowly at first, whispering to Felix how he loved him so. Each word was accentuated with a stifled moan of happiness, a foolish smile on his face. Felix tightened his muscles around his cock inside him, legs wrapped up around his back hungrily. Deep groans of pleasure and encouragement rolled throughout his body, starting in his throat and shooting down to his feet.

The sound of skin gently slapping against skin soon filled their ears, every few thrusts paused by Sylvain stopping and staring down at Felix. Each kiss against Felix’s soft lips was magnified in their ears, all lost besides their bodies moving against each other. Sylvain kissed down the side of his face, sucked and nibbled on his exposed neck.

“Felix…  _ Felix _ …” Sylvain moaned his name out like a prayer. His honey eyes drifted up to gaze lovingly at Felix’s copper ones, creasing in the happy smile that widened on his lips. “I’m so happy, baby. I love you s-so much.”

Sylvain moved to his knees and gripped Felix’s thighs with a deep exhale of pleasure. He increased the thrusts of his hips down into the younger man, head thrown back in pure ecstasy. Felix watched him from below, fearful he may lose all his senses from the relief and joy spreading through him. He could remember encounters with Sylvain like this before; they had all taken place during their year at the academy. Before they were burdened with the war, with the knowledge their relationship would never be accepted by Sylvain’s family. 

Before his father’s attack that threatened Felix’s very sanity.

Felix nodded softly in encouragement up at the redhead, eyes half-lidded in pleasure. This would be their forever from now on.

Sylvain screamed out in pleasure when Felix pulled his thighs achingly back to his chest, the tightness around his cock gripping him to the point of stupidity.

“M-more. More, Syl; harder, p-please…!”

“ _ Felix _ ,” Sylvain breathed out, nodding his head and pressing his palms against Felix’s hips. He gripped him and placed his other hand around his leaking erection, which was red from his climb towards release. Sylvain pumped him rhythmically alongside his thrusts, hips slamming down into Felix and magnifying the sound of their skin meeting in the quiet of his chamber. “You’re all mine,” he growled lowly, digging his nails down into Felix’s skin. He spit into the palm that had been around his cock, licking his lips when Felix trembled in pleasure from the action. The hand returned to Felix with a grunt of desire ripping out of the younger man’s moaning mouth.

“Yes, S-Sylvain, all yours. Fuck me, t-take me. Let me know I’m  _ yours _ —”

The dominating air from Sylvain wavered as he slowed his hips and gripped Felix’s chest lovingly. He pulled Felix up onto his lap, switching places with him and resting his back against the headboard.

“All mine, baby. Forever.”

Felix reveled in the change of position, bouncing his ass down around Sylvain’s cock. He filled him up to the brim halfway down his erection, making Felix see stars when he fully sunk down. Sylvain’s girth and length made it feel as though he were attempting to split him open, but the burn’s effect shot up into his heart and brain and made them fuzzy with emotion. It was impossible to keep his mouth closed, his eyes fluttering open each time Sylvain thrusted up inside him. Felix held on around his neck, whimpering as Sylvain palmed his cock with fervor.

“Syl—just like that, f-fuck, goddess—”

Sylvain was rendered speechless, in awe of his beautiful Felix on his lap. He could feel his cock beginning to twitch, his balls tightening up against his body as he grew closer to cumming. Felix’s sweat glistened on his face and shoulders, which were both crimson from desire.

“C-choke me. Cum inside me, Sylvain, tell me I’m yours.  _ Please _ tell me I’m all  _ yours _ …” Felix pleaded pathetically with him, bringing his free hand up around his throat before leaning in to kiss the redhead’s lips. Sylvain nodded with shaking shoulders, tightening his fingertips around the side of Felix’s neck. He kissed him deeply, shoving his tongue in his mouth. He trembled at how he tasted, somehow sensing his desperation in the quick darts of Felix’s tongue against his own.

“Not only are you mine,” Sylvain whispered, whining as he slammed his cock up inside Felix’s ass, his hole clenching around him, “but you  _ belong _ to me. And after all this time, you’re staying with me, Felix.” He squeezed around his throat and felt his chest exploding when Felix nodded excitedly, tears in his beautiful copper eyes. Felix’s hands lovingly hung on to Sylvain’s arm, nails digging into him with each thrust and tightening around his throat.

“I’m going to take care of you. You’ll never need to worry about where you’ll be sleeping, where you’ll be eating,” Sylvain whispered, easing down Felix’s foreskin and running his thumb over his slit. Felix grunted in pleasure and closed his eyes, two tears cascading down his red cheeks. “Because you’re  _ mine _ and I love you too much to let you hurt anymore.”

Felix gulped against Sylvain’s hand, nodding at him in response to his silent question to go further. When the redhead’s hand tightened, Felix’s eyes rolled back into his head and his groin jumped, the coil in his stomach springing forth and heat spreading to every inch of his body.

“S-Syl—c-cumming—Fuck, Sylvain—” Felix’s brows furrowed in emotion at the redhead, nodding as best he could under his grip. He reached out and pulled Sylvain’s face towards him to kiss the other, slamming his hips down around his cock as his own spilled out his spend on Sylvain’s hand.

“Fuck,  _ yes _ , baby, just like that. Cum for me because I make you feel so good,  _ fuck _ , Felix…” Sylvain milked him, squeezing his painfully hard cock from base to tip until there was nothing left to coax out. “So good for me, Fe, so, s-so good…”

Sylvain removed his hand from around Felix’s throat, bringing in his face to kiss him delicately there instead. He wrapped Felix up in a bear hug and held him close, panting pitifully against his skin as he fucked up into him. He was a goner now, Felix’s cum on both their stomachs, the warm fire, Felix’s body only hurtling him closer to his own release. He wanted Felix to feel this  _ good _ and this  _ loved _ every single day for the rest of their lives.

Now that he was staying for good, Sylvain could make that a reality.

“Going to marry you, Fe. We’ll have our own f-family… we’ll figure it out,” Sylvain whispered, jumping in pleasure at the way Felix’s nails scratched down his back. “Going to love you until the day I die, and l-long after that.”

“Sylvain, please, please, please…” Felix begged in his ear, heart beating roughly against the inside of his chest.

Sylvain sent one last long, deep thrust up into Felix before he felt his cock cumming inside him, twitching sporadically at his entrance. He lost all sensation besides Felix’s body around him, unable to hear the whines and cries of his pleasure spilling out of his mouth. He felt Felix’s kisses, felt his squeezing hands on his ablaze skin, but all else was quiet and numb.

Felix’s entire body heaved over Sylvain, their gazes unblinking and fixated on one another for a full minute after Sylvain’s release. He leaned in and kissed the redhead deeply, unable to move and never wanting to leave.

They held each other until the early hours of the morning, only falling asleep after the sun had begun to creep over the Sreng mountains to the northeast.

Felix awoke around noon, a blanket of pure white snow outside as far as the eye could see. The thought of venturing out into it was laughable and damnable, especially with Sylvain curled up so perfectly around him. He only broke out of the embrace to close the curtains, slinking back under the covers with the love of his life. Felix had never been so warm.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter! @setethstiddies


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